fuckingrecipes:

DIDN’T GET YOUR PARTNER A VALENTINE? 
UNDERSTANDABLE, BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO BUSY BEING A SEXY BASTARD AND SAVING THE WORLD OR SOME SHIT. 
NOW RINSE THE BLOOD OFF YOUR HANDS AND GRAB SOME SHIT FROM THE STORE, BECAUSE EVERY ASSHOLE DESERVES SOME ROMANTIC CRAP ONCE IN A WHILE. 
AFTER YOU RESTOCK YOUR SILVER BULLETS, SALT AND STITCH TOGETHER YOUR OWN WOUNDS LIKE A BADASS MOTHERFUCKER, BUY SOME RASPBERRIES AND THREE TYPES OF CHOCOLATE CHIPS. 
WHY THREE?
VARIETY, ASSHOLE! IT MAKES YOU LOOK CLASSY, LIKE YOU ACTUALLY TRIED, INSTEAD OF WHIPPING TOGETHER SOME BULLSHIT AT THE LAST MINUTE LIKE A FORGETFUL BITCH. 
SO GET YOUR MILK CHOCOLATE, WHITE CHOCOLATE AND DARK CHOCOLATE CHIPS. TRAVEL INTO THE WILDS AND COLLECT ONLY THE PUREST AND MOST SUCCULENT RASPBERRIES FOR THE PERSON OF YOUR AFFECTIONS. 
OR MAYBE YOU’RE MAKING THIS TREAT FOR YOURSELF, I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. SHUT THE HELL UP. 

NOW DELICATELY PICK UP A RASPBERRY, ‘CAUSE THOSE ASSHOLES ARE EASY TO DAMAGE. REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU PUT TOGETHER AN ARC REACTOR IN A CAVE AND BE A GENTLE BASTARD AS YOU PUSH THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS INSIDE EACH RASPBERRY. 
NOW PUT THE BOWL OF PERFECTION AND SHIT INTO THE FRIDGE OR FREEZER, DEPENDING ON HOW HARDCORE YOU ARE.
DON’T FORGET TO PRESENT THESE DELICIOUS LITTLE BASTARDS IN YOUR HAND-MADE SILVER CHALICE, BECAUSE YOU’RE A CLASSY ASSHOLE LIKE THAT. 

Advice from Adventure Time(x)

(Source: stelmarias, via sithhappenz)

humansofnewyork:

“If you could give one piece of advice to a large group of people, what would it be?”“Take those phones you’re on, shove em’ up your arses, and go to work.”
My misery makes you laugh turned 2 today!

Can’t believe it’s only been two years!
spicecat:

Drew a version of this a while ago for my psychology teacher to hang in his classroom. The way people so often misinterpret legitimate mental disorders is probably one of my biggest pet peeves

itsnotsafe-toswimtoday:

Advertising done right. For sure.

(Source: yoannmichaux, via sithhappenz)

"We were discussing homosexuality because of an allusion to it in the book we were reading, and several boys made comments such as, “That’s disgusting.” We got into the debate and eventually a boy admitted that he was terrified/disgusted when he was once sharing a taxi and the other male passenger made a pass at him. The lightbulb went off. “Oh,” I said. “I get it. See, you are afraid, because for the first time in your life you have found yourself a victim of unwanted sexual advances by someone who has the physical ability to use force against you.” The boy nodded and shuddered visibly.“But,” I continued. “As a woman, you learn to live with that from the time you are fourteen, and it never stops. We live with that fear every day of our lives. Every man walking through the parking garage the same time you are is either just a harmless stranger or a potential rapist. Every time.” The girls in the room nodded, agreeing. The boys seemed genuinely shocked. “So think about that the next time you hit on a girl. Maybe, like you in the taxi, she doesn’t actually want you to.”"

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Homophobia: The fear that another man will treat you like you treat women. Andrew Sullivan

(via neurotoxus)

(Source: andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com, via sithhappenz)